Apologizing has always had positive outcomes and that too if you make the other party realize how you feel since the time you hurt them by your actions or your words. Mostly, we hurt the ones that are close enough to us and its crucially important to make them understand about how you feel as well, this softens them up to a great extent and it helps them to understand how you’re focused on your better virtues than your worst mistakes.
But we’ve all been caught in a situation where it’s too hard for us to apologize and writing an e-mail or a letter has felt better, let me tell you there’s nothing wrong with that as well, if you’re comfortable, any medium will do the trick to let the other party know of how much you are acknowledging your mistakes.
There are a few types of apologies as well, for example, I’m sorry but not really, its basically brushing the other person off to just avoid the dispute but trust me this kind of apology is like adding fuel to the fire and often tend to not work well enough. The other one is, I’m sorry its my fault, this one clearly indicates you acknowledge your mistakes and you’re ready to bridge the gap constructed in your relationship with your spouse. The list goes on, what matters is how perfectly you craft your feelings in an apology and make it look like you’re ready for a reconciliation.
Making a try to bridge the gap
So far, you’ve communicated about how sorry you are for whatever happened, and you really want to make things right? Right after you’ve told your spouse know of how badly you want to fix things and you’re going straight with the plan of making your partner know you really want to bridge the gap between both of you?” If there’s something you can really offer to repair what’s been damaged, then there can be a payment but if you really got nothing on your hands then one of their most likeable things, a dozen of roses or a box of chocolates might do the job,” says Margaret Moore, a practicing psychologist in the New York City.
One of the most important elements for an apology is manifesting that you truly regret what has been done, something like “I’m sorry” with a valid gesture will at least make them realize that you are sorry for your mistake and look forward for a reconciliation. It basically brings your thoughts into a valid expression, an abstract of your thoughts is presented in front of the one who’s been offended and will surely branch out ways for a solution. This doesn’t always have to be sentimental or super emotional, with someone you’ve been friends with for the longest time, their apology can have a bit of sarcasm but don’t brush off the matter like you barely care.
Clarify Your Narrative
In some cases, you need to bring something for your defense, make the other person know what happened and an explanation does the job here. This can also move a long way when your spouse needs the details or to just soften them up a bit more, you need some good number of pages to keep a track of what’s to be said next. There is an allowance of mistakes in our lives, which we surely tend to never repeat in the future but sometimes there are errors which do need some fixing and just to explain if it was a mistake or an error, you need to give an explanation. Moreover, don’t make your explanation sound like excuses and especially don’t blame the victim when you’re apologizing for your mistakes, doing something like that will divert the focus point and will bring the need for another 2 to 3 apologies.
Take charge of your failure to commitment
Something like, “she was making my blood boil” or “she got me late for work” these thoughts sometimes make us manifest them through our words while apologizing and that’s why this proves to be one of the hardest of all because we need to let down your guard and ego while taking the responsibility of our actions. It’s not a person’s nature to accept themselves being wrong in a situation but the point to remember is, whatever you did hurt the other person, and nothing changes that. “The best option while reconciling is to just admit, I was wrong when I did that and I accept myself being totally responsible,” says Dr. Margaret.
Affirmation Of Remorse
Repentance, in its literal meanings is to turn around and for me that means to make a difference in an attitude. When it comes to the affirmation of never committing the same mistake, it’s a promise and for an adult the promise must stay, unlike children making a promise of never eating ice cream after 9 and 10 minutes later you find them doing what they promised not to. But when it comes to apologizing about something, you need to verbalize your desire for another chance and how committed you’ll be to your words. This doesn’t end here, make sure you plan out an ensured success while just verbalizing your intentions of never repeating the mistake.
Requesting For Remission
This final step allows you to stand at a point where you both know you’re headed towards the good, it brings you out of the cage which constantly makes you reject every step your partner is taking to just witness some positive outcome. For any person, forgiveness means a great deal and its always hard to accept that, but it sure brings a sense of justice in your life. Even after this, it might take a little while but there will be a positive outcome of this in your relationship.